When I found out I was pregnant, my mind raced, and it wasn’t long before I was thinking about Skye. Having announced her pregnancy just a month before I found discovered mine, I calmed myself in knowing I had a friend in this journey.
I couldn’t wait to tell Skye, and surprised her with my news over peanut butter and chocolate smoothies. I was only 6 weeks pregnant, so being able to compare notes and ask questions was invaluable. If it wasn’t for Skye, I probably wouldn’t have got onto finding a midwife so quickly, and thankfully found one that I love.
I hope that you will also love comparing notes with Skye. Due in February, Skye’s maternity fashion is already getting me excited to dress the little bump, make sure to follow her at @skye_ross_ (her baby bump is JUST perfection!
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Skye, you look more and more divine every time I see you, how are you feeling now?
You’re too kind! I feel great, thank you.
I had morning sickness from 8 weeks until 16 (spewing every morning, such fun!) but since then I’ve felt wonderful and have loved being pregnant.
I had amazing energy through the second trimester which I embraced as much as possible and I’m hoping will continue throughout the third!
I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you are pregnant too, just a few months ahead of me. Had you and Mark been trying long before conceiving, and did you both find this journey quite straight-forward?
I’m so excited that we’re on this journey together, girl! You’re going to be the most wonderful mum.
Mark and I decided that I would go off the pill around September last year and thought “we’ll see what happens”.
So, our little babe was planned but was also a beautiful surprise when we found out we were pregnant eight months later. We like to say we were trying-but-not-trying if that makes sense ha ha. If we didn’t get pregnant we would have started properly ‘trying’ at the end of this year. We feel so incredibly grateful for a straightforward journey to pregnancy.
Where and how did you find out, and how far along were you?
It was a couple of days before Queen’s Birthday weekend and my period was late so I took a pregnancy test – without Mark knowing – but it was negative.
Then we went away for the weekend and I took another test on the Monday as my period still hadn’t come. Again, negative.
I don’t know why but I just had a feeling that I was pregnant so I waited another couple of days and took another test first thing in the morning on the Wednesday.
Lo and behold, there was TWO lines! I was so excited and according to my LMP (last menstrual period) I should have been five weeks but it turns out I’d ovulated late so was actually between 3-4 weeks which was determined by my HCG levels through the doctor.
How did you tell Mark, and when did you start telling others?
As soon as I saw those two lines on the stick I knew exactly how I wanted to tell Mark, especially as he had no idea I was even taking tests! I went out and bought a pair of Retro Jordan 3 basketball shoes in baby size which are the same as the ones he’d purchased a couple of weeks prior! I surprised him that night with the shoes and the positive test.
We spent a few days just enjoying the news ourselves and then told our mums and sisters. We wanted to wait until we had the all clear at the 12 week scan to tell wider family and friends. It was hard keeping it a secret but it made for very exciting announcements!
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What has been the hardest thing about being pregnant so far?
Morning sickness was pretty testing! I vomited every morning for two months which exhausted me on top of the normal pregnancy exhaustion but it’s so much more manageable being sick when you’re growing a baby – I just persevered and didn’t really complain because I was unwell for such good cause and I also know that so many women have it much worse than I did!
In terms of food and drinks, I’m following the “rules” but I’m pretty relaxed so there isn’t anything that comes to mind really – not even alcohol (but I might feel different come Christmas/NYE time ha ha). I’ve been having sushi (I just ask them to make it fresh and with no cold meat or seafood) and pasteurised cheeses.
Each to their own though, I’m a firm believer in doing what’s right for you when you’re pregnant.
I feel like you one day you just ‘popped’, when did you start noticing a bump, or having to change your jeans (mine are already so tight!)
I totally did! I stopped wearing high waisted jeans at around 20 weeks as I looked like I had a fat vagina ha ha but I really ‘popped’ at around six months.
You’ve chosen to have a midwife as your lead maternity carer. Were you ever leaning towards an obstetrician, or have you questioned your decision at all? What was your experience in finding a midwife?
I was totally conflicted at first, I had no idea what was the right option for us!
Mark suggested that I’d probably like midwife care more as I tend to lean towards the holistic/natural/spiritual side of life over the medical and I agreed with him. As we had only told close family, I didn’t have any friends to ask for a recommendation – especially not ones who had gone with a midwife on the shore – so I read profile after profile on findyourmidwife.org, a directory run by the New Zealand College of Midwives.
My thinking was that I would go with an ob if I couldn’t find a midwife that I liked and felt comfortable with but luckily I found the most amazing woman to support us on our journey. She has been a midwife for 13 years and we have the same philosophy regarding birth which I think is crucial when choosing a LMC.
I set up meetings with a couple of midwives (it was almost like an interview process) when I began my search but I knew when I met her that she was the one I wanted to go with.
Word of advice to anyone who’s looking for a midwife or is thinking about midwife care for when they do conceive: get in quick! There’s a shortage of midwives and they get booked up super quickly so I recommend making appointments asap!
Feel free to DM me on Instagram if you’d like the name of my midwife.
Have you decided to find out the gender?
No, we’re having a surprise and I’m really excited for the moment when someone announces whether it’s a boy or girl.
Extra pushing motivation I reckon!
Has anything surprised you about being pregnant?
Girl, heck yes!
There are so many things people don’t talk about regarding pregnancy that I never knew about until I experienced them. Insert the leaking boobs I’ve been experiencing since 22 weeks here. I’m a rare case I’m told but I’m already wearing breast pads!
Are you feeling anxious about anything?
I’m not anxious about birth but I have what I hope is a healthy level of anxiety about raising a child.
I know life’s about to change hugely and it’s a serious commitment but I’m excited for this new chapter in our lives.
Have you been flooded with advice already? What would you pass on?
I try to take on board the advice that feels right and let go of everything else though.
What’s worked for me is the following:
- Try enjoy every beautiful moment of being pregnant the first time – you’ll be running around after another kiddie should you go for round two and won’t have time to embrace it as much!
- I’m of the understanding that stretch marks come down to genetics but that doesn’t mean you should forego moisturiser or beautiful body oils. Lather up for the self-love factor if nothing else. I’ve found my new body care ritual to be quite cathartic as my body grows and changes. It’s a beautiful time if you tell yourself it is.
- Make the most of couple time. Prioritise your relationship with your partner while it’s just the two of you for a few more months. Go out to dinner. And go to the movies – people who’ve walked this journey before say it’s a looong time before you’ll go on a movie date again so live it up while you can!
- I’m self-confessed control freak but when it comes to pregnancy and birth it’s really out of your control. Baby’s going to come how and when they want to! I’m going to have ‘birth ideals’ opposed to a ‘birth plan’ with the hope that the calmer and happier I am about the process, baby hopefully will be too.
- Pregnancy pilates is incredible for your pelvic floor. Highly recommend. Fingers crossed when I laugh/cough/sneeze post-birth that peeing is minimised as a result. Real talk. I’ll let you know afterwards though.
If you could say anything to your baby right now, what would it be?
It is such a privilege to be pregnant with you.
Thank you for choosing me to be your mum. We love you and we can’t wait to hold you in our arms.