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36 weeks pregnant after loss of child baby size nz pregnancy journal blog
journal,  pregnancy

33 Weeks Pregnant after Loss of a Child

This brave Mama shares openly about the loss of her little girl in 2019, as she now awaits the arrival of a third daughter very soon. My heart hurts for her, and hope that this family experiences some healing from the arrival of their third little girl.

Pregnancy after loss of our second daughter

This is our third pregnancy and our third little girl.

I have a 6 year old, and my second daughter would have been 4 but she passed away at 2 years 8 months. She was diagnosed with brain cancer in August 2019, and I held her in my arms as she took her last breath in December 2019.

It was in her brain stem and there was nothing they could do for her from the very start so we made the most of the time we had left, stopped all treatment and brought her home. She was one the strongest kid you’ll ever meet.

We always knew we had more love to give and was open to the idea of more. Ideally we would have had number 3 sooner but I was on the depo (biggest regret) so it took awhile. Not sure if this will be our last either. And yes it’s a girl.

Start weight was 66kgs and I’ve just hit 80kg. Tracking very similar with all 3. No particular cravings this time around.

How I’m feeling… that’s a tough one. So many feelings. Excited but so nervous. Being a Mum is a massive gig and after losing my girl comes constant worry and that’s something I will continue to work through. 

I am still wondering… where I will have this baby. My other two were born in hospital with no complications and I’m considering a home birth or going to the birthing centre this time around. 

My girls are so different and I can’t wait to see what this little ones personality will be like. I’m also looking forward to seeing my 6 year old loving on this baby. 

My baby’s movements are… strong. I don’t remember them being like this and this is also one of my favourite things about being pregnant. I’m very lucky and have such great pregnancies.

The best thing about the last week has been… I’m a list writer and this last week I’ve managed to tick so many things off. Also employed someone for 12 months to cover my maternity leave.

What makes me happiest right now… is knowing that my baby is healthy, happy and growing and doing all the right things.

My husband as a father… not sure where to start. He is the most incredible father and husband that I could have ever wished for. The things we have been through together has made us grow so much together and I’m so blimming proud of him. 

I would tell baby… prepare yourself to be absolutely smothered with love because there are so many people looking forward to your arrival 💛

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at [email protected] to send you one of these pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal).