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16 weeks pregnancy journal gender disappointment second pregnancy
journal,  pregnancy

16 Weeks Pregnant – Gender Anxiety/Disappointment, What I’ll do differently as a Second Time Mum


If you haven’t already, you can read this second time Mum’s 15 Weeks Pregnant Entry, where she touches on her gender surprise, the feelings she has towards her body, and what advice she would give (trust me, it’s an awesome read!)

16 Weeks Pregnant – Baby is the size of an Avocado


I am feeling anxious…

I am anxious about sleep at the moment! Having an almost 2 year old who does not sleep well at all is really stressful and I feel really isolated in terms of support. And by that I mean by people who are willing to help with that area. I am the only one who she will tolerate at night and is still breastfed during the and it is TOUGH. I really am unsure how I will manage come November but I tell myself other mothers cope.

I am also anxious about learning baby’s gender. Slightly less so, as I talk myself out of gender disappointment – and I think having a surprise will help with that. 

Why do you think you’re worried about the possibility of gender disappointment (if you don’t have a second girl)?

I honestly cannot answer the gender disappointment thing, I’m really struggling to figure it out myself. I come from a family with me and a younger brother and I actually had always pictured my own family having the same make-up. We want to hopefully have 3 children – I have PCOS and have required Letrozole and Clomid for both babies.

I remember wanting a sister growing up so perhaps it’s due to that, but my brother and I have an amazing relationship so know gender doesn’t determine that. I’m also extremely sentimental: my eldest wore a lot of my own baby clothes when she was younger so maybe I want to do the same again and start the same tradition with her clothes and the new baby? They are the only conclusions I have come to! 

What I’m doing to relax…

Ensuring I rest while my toddler naps! I work 2 days a week so I make sure the 3 I am at home with her I really do nothing even if it means the house is a tip. 

I think becoming a second time mother will make me let go of everything that I held onto in terms of parenting the first time around. There is so much I already know will be different to having only one child, and I also know that is okay as well. There was a lot the first time I tried to do “perfectly” and I believe that coupled with some health issues of our daughter led to having quite bad postpartum anxiety.

The most helpful person I have spoken to recently is a friend who I do not see or speak to nearly enough, but her parenting style is so so similar to mine and she just ‘gets it’! She doesn’t sugar coat things or say “it will be okay” she is honest and open and that’s exactly what you need as a Mum.

Diet, exercise, sleep, stress…

Diet has always been okay but I consume way to much sugar… I know this but I choose to anyway. I am lucky to be naturally small-ish so I think this does not help my poor choice! However, I also feel there is pressure on pregnant woman to eat perfectly and actually thats not always possible. I am not as fit as I was first time around due to limited time, support and sleep deprevation to gym but I walk 4-5 times a week (5km) and do online pilates 2-3 times a week as my goal. Sleep is shocking due to a wakeful toddler.

If I could say anything to my baby right now it would be…

You are so loved, and I feel so blessed to be carrying you and I cannot wait to meet you. 

If after reading this you’d be happy to share your own experience of pregnancy, please email me at [email protected] to send you one of these pages (or you can send a photo of your own pregnancy journal).